The Technology of Trust
True and lasting disarmament is probably a few centuries off because we don't trust each other.
True and lasting disarmament is probably centuries away. To disarm with confidence we must trust adversaries. The royal road to warranted trust is simple: being trustworthy. What is that?
Language has enabled us to assemble great truth; it is also a means to unprecedented new and nuanced ways to deceive each other. Animals fool and fake a bit, but nothing opens the door to deceit as wide as speaking.
Why is trust so important?
Two reasons:
You can’t meaningfully negotiate with someone you don’t trust. You usually end up with threats and counter-threats, even if these are written into contracts…and then you must at least trust that they will be sufficiently frightened by the threats to act as contracted!
Secondly, meaningful relationships, like parent-child or friend-friend, or love, must be based on trust or they’re simply ‘arrangements.’
Important: you can trust someone in one context and distrust them in others:
You might describe someone who’s a good team member but a dangerous flirt: “I trust him on the basketball court but not the dance floor,” even though in some high schools it’s exactly the same floorboards.
Following these inadequate disclaimers, we acknowledge that if we want to build trust, we must know its structure.
What makes someone trustworthy?
Honest:
Not furtive
No lying or cheating
Admits when wrong
Some level of considerate:
Not totally self-absorbed
Think of the other person(s) at least sometimes
Competent:
Can be counted on to do requisite things
Emotionally Stable:
Self-control re: anger, greed, lusty stuff, pride
Not moved by silly things
Intelligent:
Not too easily fooled
Reasonably predictable:
Surprising acts can be explained most of the time
Similar outlook:
Agree about foundational facts. (E.g.,Earth is round, killing is wrong.)
Comfortable:
Not ‘ill at ease’ with each other.
Even with all this, you might not trust someone. A je ne sais quoi, a feeling that someone is trying to put something over on you may scuttle any sense of trust. This is possibly why trust is not so common, and it is a precious thing.